Well y'all, I did not see this coming. I'm writing and you're reading. (What?!) I believe that the body of Christ matures when we purpose to partner together for His glory. And that is why I've taken the time to write this today. I pray that I can be open about my struggles and that you in turn will be able to face yours too and see victory. So here we go...
Is it not true that our thoughts are not God's thoughts (Isa. 55:8-9) ? And yet scripture tells us that we have the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16)? In my life these scriptures have worked out to mean that I have been surprised many, MANY times by what God was doing and by what He was allowing to be brought into my life. And yet, once I became aware of what he brought, I nearly simultaneously was able to perceive more deeply the plan behind it and therefore "know" more of the reason for its unfolding. Its an amazing phenomenon. Because we are beloved children of our Heavenly Father, He delights to bring us in and reveal what He has been working in our lives even though the working may come as a complete surprise to us initially. Have you experienced this too? Perhaps we have similar stories. I bet in many ways we do. And I pray that this experience only grows and multiplies in your life. In the month preceding this writing, I had been dragging myself and struggling out of an season of new questions and new wonderings. It seemed as though it would be endless. Although, I knew in my mind that I was standing on a foundation of purpose and meaning, emotionally and tangibly I could not get a firm grasp on those truths. You see, this is not usually the case for me. I think family and friends would say that I'm a pretty purposeful and clear-headed individual who seems to have a plan and appears to be happily executing it! And I think that impression of me is true a lot of the time. But as seasons go, this particular season had changed that. Its like a C.S. Lewis quote that I recently ran across, which says, "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes. But when you look back everything is different." When I read that my spirit instantly took it as a type of warning about my season of struggle. It's meaning for me actually being two-fold. I had been filled with a mental sense of purposeless-ness and had developed a depressing belief that everything had become different and unfamiliar and could not be overcome. My immediate understanding of my circumstances was hard to pin down. I felt like I floated through my days like in an ocean-- with no sure footing and no clear sight of land. Due to perhaps this weird time of quarantine and the swift disappearing of familiar routines and familiar busyness, life had to my natural eye ceased its expected and welcome changes. Little changes that we as humans like very much. The definition here of change being our ability to control. The frequent options to change that day's errand, or change that day's menu, or change that day's gathering with friends, or change that day's clothes (into something not pajamas), or change that day's ______, fill in the blank. Change we like is change we control. Quarantine brought a quick end to that common ability to change our lives in our usual ways. If you think about it for very long I think we'll all see how being required to live in restricted ways has a way of weakening our mental resolve. We see the frailty of our humanity and we begin an internal war with our confidence in a life we can predict, steer, conquer, and control. I could talk at length about all that had contributed to the feelings I was wrought with but I want to shift the focus right here. I want to glorify the God that planted my feet once again in the realest reality we can know (kingdom reality). And in his planting me, he freed me in an instant from my season of wondering and wandering. I want to reiterate here, that unaware, we can all slip into a dangerous emotional mode of life where we discover "everything different". We were once strong, now we see that we're weak. We were once purpose-FULL and now we're floating in some middle place not really sure what to care about. We were once joyful, now we're unhappy with a change that arrived uninvited. This is a struggle of our emotions and our mental health. It happens with all those combined days of "nothing changes" (like a global quarantine). It happens under our noses. It happens if the guard to our heart takes some time off. Though I had experienced days of thriving, they were not enough of a catalyst to propel me out of my mess. Without realizing, I was in the middle of a season in which I would be stretched and pushed once again to mature and propel into my next level of victorious living. God knew I had to mature. How wonderful of Him to never leave us as we are. He had planted a seed in me and was about to start watering! Additionally, I must add here, that it wasn't wholly the quarantine and its companion problems that caused this troubling season. It was life. Life being its surprising, unpredictable self and containing imperfect people who will forget, fail, and falter. Jesus talks about our troubles in this world but we've got to remember that He has already overcome. And those people we walk with? They need buckets and buckets of grace, by the way. And we need that grace from them. God knew His seeds were in the ground of my life. The seeds of my next chapter and my leaving behind of old ways and bad habits. He was about to water. His mini-flood over my life soil would be a shaking to loosen those shake-able, unncessary, things in me (Heb. 12:27). Now, was the moment for my Father to walk in the room and lovingly and firmly knock me on the head. Now was the moment of him raining on the seeds. A refreshing rain of himself. And I'm glad He did. So, so grateful for a Father who relentlessly pursues me and see in me the greatness He placed there. I had just opened my eyes that morning when I sensed He was about to loose something over me. As a good father, he wasn't going to leave me in my failure. He had to get my attention first, with what felt like to me to be a loving bonk on my head. And I know why He did that day in particular. A day before, I had finally been able to acknowledge my helplessness. I had resisted for weeks because I was just lazy. I knew I couldn't and wouldn't figure things out on my own but I hadn't been able to be really honest with myself. Our God is so good, He'll wait as long as it takes for us to put down our defense. Now, here I was, hardly awake, and before I knew it that kind knock on my head made my whole soul well. My soul (heart) had been sick. Like Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". (Can anyone else relate to feeling sick at heart? ) YET, here I was. My heart was made well again. It was a distant and familiar feeling to be well again. For He has worked many times on me before. And without having exerted any of my own effort, I lay there rejoicing to be whole once more. It had been instantaneous and powerful. From one situation to another--BAM! I was able to experience that mind of Christ moment. In the surprises of life I now knew there had been waiting a revelation of God's thoughts. A revelation that came through having a spirit filled with the Spirit and able to dream again. A soul, wholly well, who knew the new had come. (Say that 10 times fast...) No, really, say it once more and claim it for yourself- your soul wholly well and knowing the new is come. The new for you. The new for your success as a child of God. The new for your next level of victory. The new that will change your perspective forever. So for today, that's what I've got to share. I want you to be able to read this and have the mental energy to comprehend God's faithful nature. His faithful nature to meet his kids where they are and to wait for them to be able to receive that good and loving knock on the head. The knock to come back to reality and truth and new seasons opening. I have entered the doors of my new season and my next level. I'm grateful. Grateful that you're still reading this. We have abundant life, and it has got to be shared so that it can bear fruit. We need more fruit borne in the body of Christ. And abundantly healthy mental and emotional living is for you. A healthy soul is our blessing in Christ. Its the starting point for real living. I hope you know God is for you and He's bringing it your way. My prayer for you is your... whole soul well.
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